In career decision making, we are often asked to choose a path to which we remain loyal; where we commit ourselves. This makes sense. If we commit to a path we are likely to develop, grow in that path, and increase our status in that field. This would likely bring promotion, increased earnings, and greater influence. All of that can be beneficial, but I believe that we sometimes get stuck in our career loyalties and commitments in negative ways.
In my work with clients, I see people who have prematurely closed themselves off to new life and career possibilities. In an effort to avoid the anxiety and fear of not knowing, people sometimes make career choices quickly. The short term benefit of that choice is that the anxiety is lessened, but in the long term there is an undertone of anxiety, of existential anxiety, that can lie dormant for years (more on this later). The long term consequence of choosing too quickly means that people may develop loyalties or commitments to a career path that are not founded in what they truly want and need from their lives. They get on their “career river” and start to follow the current. Years later, they may look around and feel that they no longer want to be in that current but it has brought them so far downstream that it can feel difficult to change.
Here enters the dormant existential anxiety. People who have formed premature loyalties sometimes wake up and feel stuck in a path that is unfulfilling, lacks meaning, and deadens their inner spirit. They are not living a life of purpose. They begin to question what their life is all about. Their inner spirit wants to explore their true path, but getting out of the current of the “career river” is difficult and scary. Fear often keeps people stuck in paths that suck the life out of their lives.
This is why I offer the possibility that developing a healthy form of detachment can actually help in decision making. Suspending and detaching from career loyalties and commitments does not mean that you never commit or develop loyalties. It simply suggests that you are detached enough to allow yourself to explore new possibilities at any point. Professional associations and fields want people to make lifetime careers in their fields, but this may be at the expense of the individual’s inner longings and purpose. This perspective goes against many mainstream messages in career development about the importance of career decidedness, but I believe a shift in perspective may be necessary for many individuals.
So, what does it look like to detach? It means that if you are in a job, you are always open to the possibility of leaving it. It means that even if you have a great team, you recognize that it does not last forever. It means that it may be worth interviewing for a possible new job even if you are happy in your current one. It means that you continue to make connections and broaden your network outside of your normal groups. It means that you are more loyal to your inner sense of purpose than you are to a professional association.
Being willing to walk away from security (e.g. salary position, benefits, etc.) is scary, but when there is enough detachment you can be okay feeling that fear. Fear is not a negative reaction/feeling. Fear is a message that something important needs to be explored inside of you. Detaching enough from a career path keeps you open to exploring pathways that are fearful but potentially better for you.
In the end, detachment is about honoring and trusting in the wisdom of life and career unfolding how they need to. Detachment requires relinquishing control; control of forcing a career path to work. Detachment allows you to let life work for you instead of you fighting against (or forcing) it. Staying loyal and committed to the process and wisdom of life unfolding how it needs to requires a deep sense of trust. Trust in life trying to work for you, if only you let it.
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